Pet Peeve of the Day

I absolutely hate it when someone calls you on the phone and you miss their call, but you call them RIGHT back and they don't answer the phone.  So then you wait a few moments and try again and they still don't answer the phone.  So you leave a voice message explaining what happened and they don't get back to you until hours later.  I can't stand that.

Creedence Clearwater Revival

Yes, I like all kinds of music.  Hear that bass line as it does what it does.
My question is do you like the original or John Fogerty by himself best?

Nostalgia

For some reason, over the past few days, I've really been missing high school and every thing that came with it.

I miss the pep rallies, the phenomenal slam dunk games, the football and basketball rivalries of LCHS and Bradwell Institute, the choir, the band, Mr. Etheridge, Ms. Priester, Ms. Patterson, Ms. Bingham, Mrs. Scott, Coach Wallingford, I miss the commens area, I miss having a locker in A hall and three classes in C Hall, checking out the maximum number of library books (yes, I was and still am a huge reader), choral trips, lollipop fundraisers, singing the Star Spangled Banner at b-ball games, slam books, slouch socks, biking shorts underneath tennis skirts, combat boots with band-aids on them, 60's & 70's day, tacky day, black and gold day, prom committee, prom, jrotc military ball (no, I was not in JROTC - my boyfriend was), basketball players - male of course, 2nd lunch (it was the best because it split up AP English), SATs, ASVAB (just took it to get extra credit on our AP US Government final), telling the many recruiters that the military wasn't for me even though I scored exceedingly well on said ASVAB, just knowing that I had my whole life ahead of me, the music (Jodeci, Boyz II Men, Tupac, Biggie, Total, 112, Kut Klose, SWV, Jade), the television shows, the laughter, the good times, the fabled innocence.  Dang I miss 1993-1997.

Algebra Blessett

Impatient

I was just called "impatient".  I'm wondering if that's true.  I guess this should be some type of answer seeing as though I literally was called that 2 minutes ago and now I'm writing this entry.  When I think about it, I guess I do have something of an impatient streak.  But, I believe that's because people take forever to do eh-ver-ree-thing!  Things that shouldn't even take that long are drawn out - I've seen people take 50 minutes just to cook 3 minute grits.  It doesn't have to be that way.  And yes, I just exaggerated, but this is my blog and I can do what I want. 

When Did This Happen?

I remember, that as a child, I had the biggest imagination of all of my friends.  I had dreams and plans that seemed immeasurable.  I was ready to take on the world.  I wasn't afraid of anything or anyone. 

When did it all change?  Was it after my first "adult" heartbreak?  Or was it after the first time someone told me that I couldn't sing as well as someone else?  Could it have been after the first time I broke someone else's heart?  Maybe it was the day I realized that I was going to have to work extremely hard to get whatever I wanted because I didn't know anyone that could and would just give it to me?  Whenever it was, I can tell you this much - it put a serious cramp in my style.

Deniece Williams

Yes ma'am this is a serious classic.  Act like you know and recognize greatness when it's presented to you. 

Monica

This song has really been in my spirit for the last few weeks.

Sugarland

One of the best songs EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pat Benatar

This song has been in my head for the past few days.

Haven't Forgotten About Steve

Yes it has been a minute since I blogged about my views of Steve Harvey's book and I know I promised to write after I finished each chapter.  But some things have come up and taken priority over my immediate intentions.  Don't worry, I plan on writing a few words on the last chapter by the end of the weekend.  You have my word on that.  Word.

It's Finally Here!

The video production of my play "Speaking to the Heart of a Man" has finally arrived and it's ready to go!  Thank you, Lord!  It's been nearly 8 months.  Can you believe that?  Wow!

What is Wrong with You?

A male friend of mine made some statements to me about us and how he wants to keep things on a platonic level.  When the hell did we go past platonic was my question to him.  He told me that since he's been having some serious fantasies about me, he just assumed that I was feeling him in that manner as well.  But he decided that since I'm a romantic and I believe in love and butterflies and hearts and all that gushy stuff, it wouldn't be a good idea to jump in the bed with me.  Excuse you?  Mr. Conceited can sit right on down with that.  Men, don't slip up and make the mistake that because you are somewhat attractive and cool to be around that every single woman you meet is trying to make you her dude.  That will get you the tongue-lashing that I gave Mr. Conceited.  I hate having to explain myself to fools, but this was a necessary departure from my norm.  I told him that the thought of sleeping with him wasn't on my mind because I knew how he treated the bedmates in his life.  They were nothing more than objects to be used and discarded in his warped bachelor-for-life mind.  I'm not trying to be discarded by anyone not worthy of being with me. 

Furthermore, I do have the ability to compartmentalize and see a situation for what it is.  If two grown people can consent to doing what they do when they're alone and they can handle whatever comes from that, then I can get on board with that.  It depends on who the people are.  However, don't take my wanting to spend time with you for me wanting to jump on your d***.  Maybe I just haven't seen your half-ignorant behind in months and wanted to hang out with you.  On top of that, we were originally talking about going to a club.  A frickin' club.  I was driving and he was gonna drive with two of his friends.  How does that translate to "let me do some naughty things to you"?  Dang it man, the nerve of some men! 

I'm not opposed to the idea of sleeping with a man who is a friend, but don't come at me like you're the last slab of beef on this farm.  I'm well worth taking time out for, but desperate is something that I'm not. 

He might've just pissed me off with that.  Can you tell?  Let me be 100% with you, he's a nice looking guy, but he messed up one day and told me about some of his sexual exploits and they completely turned me off.  So any thought I may've had about being intimate with him went out of the window YEARS ago.  Don't tell me about how you're basically a selfish lover and you like to get in and get out and think that I'm going to line up to experience your selfishness.  I'm good.  I'll pass!!

A Little Bit Irked

Basically the title says it all.  I'm a little bit irked right now.  I went out on a limb and asked someone to do something for me and they didn't come through.  I could go on a diatribe about how I do exactly what they ask of me regardless of what else I've got going on, but I won't.  Alright, I've got that out of my system and now I can move on.  How was your day?

Beside You

As I lay here beside you
I stay here beside you.
I find the desire to play here beside you.
I'm comfort beside you.
I'm ruffled beside you.
I feel longing is doubled beside you.
Life is prequeled beside you
Then sequeled beside you
And I am equaled beside you.
I meditate beside you.
I hesitate beside you.
The world, I contemplate beside you.
I am caring beside you.
Even daring beside you
To begin sharing my heart beside you.
I call your name beside you.
I hear your pain beside you.
I feel insane and tame all at once beside you.
I am flooded beside you
Often gutted beside you
To raw unadulterated nothing beside you.
I whisper beside you
And I quiver beside you.
Blissful memories arise and flitter beside you.
I wish this was virginity beside you.
I wish you saw me beside you.
I wish you knew I was true peace beside you.
Look no further than beside you.
Hold no other hand beside you.
Remember you can love demand with me beside you.

~Shamika I. Austin

Why Me?

Why do I want someone who doesn't realize that he wants me?

Why am I 30 years old with no children, no husband, no house, no car?

Why do I have moments when I think I'm pretty and others when I think I'm the scurge of the earth?

Why am I such a huge fan of the arts?

Why can't I say what's really on my mind when I'm around you?

Why am I the biggest dreamer in life?

Why did God make me so sensitive?

Why can't I be more cold-hearted?

Why did I give the men I've given chances, chances?

Why does it bother me that you've taken others out, but you've never taken me?

Why do I dream about the same guy every night?

Why do little children make me smile so brightly?

Why can't I just be the person who walks past homeless people and not give a damn?

Why do I have the ability to blend into any social situation in which I am placed?

Why did I grow up with no siblings?

Why was I really given up for adoption?

Why do I sometimes feel unlovable?

Why can't I be skinny and petite?

Why do the movies "Stepmom", "Meet Joe Black", "Up", "The Lake House", and countless others make me cry?

Why am I a crybaby?

Why was I popular in high school?

Why was I popular in college?

Why do I feel like I stay in the middle of a storm?

Why won't anyone take a chance on me?

Why am I intimate when he's just getting laid?

Why can I always find a reason to laugh out loud?

Why am I a beast in the kitchen?

Why don't I drink?

Why am I afraid of the silence?

Why do I miss my grandmother right now?

Why do I love my lips but hate my hips?

Why am I crestfallen?

Why do I dislike bell peppers so intensely?

Why does it bother me when Charlie Wilson sings "onliest one"?

Why have I found new inspiration?

Why do I have new motivation?

Why am I beginning to doubt my calling?

Why am I such a passionate being?

Why am I proud of my skills?

Why can't I always paint with all the colors of the wind?

Why am I nostalgic?

Why do I love words?

Why am I terrified of failing and succeeding?

Why do I love myself?

Why do I care what others think of me?

Why am I a walking conundrum?

Why do I look good in a sexy pair of heels?

Why am I sexy today?

Why haven't I visited Spain and Italy yet?

Why am I most alive when I meditate on death?

Why did I write any of these questions?

Why am I petrified of the answers?

I'm Very Appreciative...

 

 

I Want You to Be the You You're Always Telling Me About

Am I wrong for being the consummate cheerleader?  I used to think that men appreciated and desired women that rooted for them.  I'm not so sure anymore.  In the past 3 years alone I've met nearly a dozen African-American men with unimaginable "potential".  I've encouraged them, massaged their bruised egos, supported their endeavors into personal revelation, and shown that I would gladly take them for face value, but I'd rather have them with their complete appraised worth intact.  Nevertheless, they buck my "you can do it"'s at every turn.  Maybe it wouldn't be so frustrating if they were truly ignorant of who they could be.  But they have complete knowledge of that person.  They just run, in an unnerving show of terror, from that greatness.  It saddens me to see the men who have no inkling of how to be real men running the show, because it should be these men of ridiculous, history-making "potential" that should be the visage that school-aged boys look up to.  How do you look up to someone who can't seem to look at himself?  Sometimes, I wish I had a desire for thugs and men of no moral countenance.  Because they, unfortunately, don't seem to be ashamed of what they want.  Silly me, I have the audaciousness to want the tortured, self-effacing, love-deserving, but love-fearing, inculpable, beautiful but darkened souled, gogeous being that slips up and shows me a rare yet oh so pure glimpse of themselves. 
You can't save 'em all, Mika.