What is Wrong with You?

A male friend of mine made some statements to me about us and how he wants to keep things on a platonic level.  When the hell did we go past platonic was my question to him.  He told me that since he's been having some serious fantasies about me, he just assumed that I was feeling him in that manner as well.  But he decided that since I'm a romantic and I believe in love and butterflies and hearts and all that gushy stuff, it wouldn't be a good idea to jump in the bed with me.  Excuse you?  Mr. Conceited can sit right on down with that.  Men, don't slip up and make the mistake that because you are somewhat attractive and cool to be around that every single woman you meet is trying to make you her dude.  That will get you the tongue-lashing that I gave Mr. Conceited.  I hate having to explain myself to fools, but this was a necessary departure from my norm.  I told him that the thought of sleeping with him wasn't on my mind because I knew how he treated the bedmates in his life.  They were nothing more than objects to be used and discarded in his warped bachelor-for-life mind.  I'm not trying to be discarded by anyone not worthy of being with me. 

Furthermore, I do have the ability to compartmentalize and see a situation for what it is.  If two grown people can consent to doing what they do when they're alone and they can handle whatever comes from that, then I can get on board with that.  It depends on who the people are.  However, don't take my wanting to spend time with you for me wanting to jump on your d***.  Maybe I just haven't seen your half-ignorant behind in months and wanted to hang out with you.  On top of that, we were originally talking about going to a club.  A frickin' club.  I was driving and he was gonna drive with two of his friends.  How does that translate to "let me do some naughty things to you"?  Dang it man, the nerve of some men! 

I'm not opposed to the idea of sleeping with a man who is a friend, but don't come at me like you're the last slab of beef on this farm.  I'm well worth taking time out for, but desperate is something that I'm not. 

He might've just pissed me off with that.  Can you tell?  Let me be 100% with you, he's a nice looking guy, but he messed up one day and told me about some of his sexual exploits and they completely turned me off.  So any thought I may've had about being intimate with him went out of the window YEARS ago.  Don't tell me about how you're basically a selfish lover and you like to get in and get out and think that I'm going to line up to experience your selfishness.  I'm good.  I'll pass!!

Steve Said It: What Drives A Man

Who he is. What he does. How much he makes. Those are the three forces that drive men, according to Steve Harvey. In his opinion, it's not until a man figures out those answers that he will make a committed step towards being in a relationship with a woman.

I wanted to yell and scream that I am the kind of woman who doesn't believe that a man should have to do this by himself. I wanted to make the case that I wouldn't be the kind of woman who would simply look at what a man does and how much he makes and use that as the deciding factor as to whether I could be with him or not. I'm loyal, trust-worthy, supportive, strong, and all of those other adjectives that ought to make a grown man jump for joy when he spots them. However, Steve cut that down pretty effortlessly on page 17, paragraph 1, sentence 4. Evidentally men won't be able to recognize any of my amazing "ride or die" characteristics unless they've figured out who they are, what they do, and how much they'll make.

I wish I would've known this years ago. I promise you it would've saved me so much heartache. Because I always see past the exterior, I have a tendency to fancy a man's potential. If I believe that he has the potential to be a great man who just hasn't come into his own, I'd try and work with him. However, I always ended up feeling under-appreciated and thoroughly dejected. This was never a quick, painless process. It always pulled at my heart strings and I couldn't understand what I'd done wrong. Why did it feel like these same men who were intelligent, funny, witty, charming, handsome, and caring didn't know how to trust that I was there to have their backs? Now things are becoming a bit clearer. Many of them didn't or don't know who they are, what they do, or how much they'll make. They were lost in some way, and because men don't normally like to ask for directions, they were unable to get to the main street. And since they were lost without a clue as to where they were going, they couldn't afford to emotionally take on another traveller. They didn't want to be responsible if both of us ended up stranded in the wilderness.

Whoda thunk it?