Steve Said It: What Drives A Man

Who he is. What he does. How much he makes. Those are the three forces that drive men, according to Steve Harvey. In his opinion, it's not until a man figures out those answers that he will make a committed step towards being in a relationship with a woman.

I wanted to yell and scream that I am the kind of woman who doesn't believe that a man should have to do this by himself. I wanted to make the case that I wouldn't be the kind of woman who would simply look at what a man does and how much he makes and use that as the deciding factor as to whether I could be with him or not. I'm loyal, trust-worthy, supportive, strong, and all of those other adjectives that ought to make a grown man jump for joy when he spots them. However, Steve cut that down pretty effortlessly on page 17, paragraph 1, sentence 4. Evidentally men won't be able to recognize any of my amazing "ride or die" characteristics unless they've figured out who they are, what they do, and how much they'll make.

I wish I would've known this years ago. I promise you it would've saved me so much heartache. Because I always see past the exterior, I have a tendency to fancy a man's potential. If I believe that he has the potential to be a great man who just hasn't come into his own, I'd try and work with him. However, I always ended up feeling under-appreciated and thoroughly dejected. This was never a quick, painless process. It always pulled at my heart strings and I couldn't understand what I'd done wrong. Why did it feel like these same men who were intelligent, funny, witty, charming, handsome, and caring didn't know how to trust that I was there to have their backs? Now things are becoming a bit clearer. Many of them didn't or don't know who they are, what they do, or how much they'll make. They were lost in some way, and because men don't normally like to ask for directions, they were unable to get to the main street. And since they were lost without a clue as to where they were going, they couldn't afford to emotionally take on another traveller. They didn't want to be responsible if both of us ended up stranded in the wilderness.

Whoda thunk it?