Steve Said It: Our Love Isn't Like Your Love

I finished this chapter a few days ago, but I had to take a moment to digest it before blogging about it.  First off, let me give you a quick (or as quick as I can be) summary of the chapter.  Steve Harvey basically tells women that men are not going to gush for days on end about how much they love.  They're going to do their absolute best to show it in the most simplistic manner possible with the aid of profession, provision, and protection.  Either we women take the love the way it's being offered or run the risk of continuing to be alone.

How many times have I wondered why I was never called so-and-so's "girlfriend" or his "lady"?  It seems that although I claimed him and was spending all of my valuable time on him, he didn't see me as claimable.  This is probably one of the most obvious signs of relationship-mindedness and I have constantly over-looked it.  What was wrong with me?  This is something I even recall discussing amongst my girl friends.  Evidently, I knew what was what, I just chose to ignore it.  Maybe I was thinking that the guy was different, so he didn't revel in titles.  How romantic was that?  Regardless of what excuse I made up in my head or that he gave me to stop me from pushing the "why don't you call me your girlfriend" questions, the bottom line is that I knew the answer all along: To him, I was just a pleasant distraction and was never intended to be a permanent fixture in his life.

Provision and Protection basically work hand-in-hand for me.  I've had a few really great boyfriends.  They would go out of their way to make sure that I had not only what I needed, but just about everything that I wanted.  And I could go to them at any time that I felt threatened or stressed out.  It was almost as if they knew "fighting" for my honor was just as invaluable to my heart as making sure that I was taken care of.  Unfortunately, Steve was right about one thing, men have been told that "providing" for a woman is a sign of weakness and we women have been made to feel as though asking a man to provide makes us look like money-hungry, whores.  But that's wrong.  From the dawn of time, men were the hunters, the providers, the ones who shouldered the responsibility of making sure that the family ate, survived, and lived.  Women made the house a home.  They made sure that the family thrived, was comfortable, and enjoyed the life the man provided.

We women have allowed a screwed up social ideal to overtake what we know to be good, true, and ordained.  A man may decide that he doesn't have to profess his desire to be with me forever, and that he doesn't have to provide for me, and that he doesn't have to protect me.  That's fine.  But I've decided that I don't have to accept that kind of man.