What Was I Thinking?

I haven't written on this blog in a while, but that's okay, right?  I mean there hasn't been a lot of notable things happening in my life so what was the point of writing?  Well, I'm back in Atlanta after my 6 month mission of stress in south Georgia.  I could say a LOT of negative things about that experience, but I choose to call it a lesson learned.  In an effort not to repeat my past mistakes, I've decided to be more fearless.

So what do I have in the works?  Glad you asked.  Plays, YouTube webisodes, building an improv group, crocheting more apparel, building an a capella choir, baking more, working out (which I'm happy to say I started doing today), blogging more frequently on both of my blogs, publishing my poetry book, and finishing my newest book.

The world is my oyster   The sky's the limit.  I am the author of my story.  I can do anything I set my mind to.  All of those cliche's apply to my current state of mind.  This ought to be fun.

A Song Stuck In My Head

For whatever reason today, I've been hearing "Girls Dem Sugar" by Beenie Man featuring Mya.  Because I can't beat it, I feel I must join it and sing it like I wrote it.  For any of you wishing to sing along, press play.  Have a great evening!

Yanked Awake By A Yorkie

As the title states, I have been awakened by A Yorkshire Terrier named Precious. About an hour ago, I heard her scratching at my door. I tried to ignore her & continue sleeping, but she was relentless. I soon realized that it was storming outside & the thunder & lightening was scaring her. I reluctantly got up & opened the door (partly because I had to use the restroom). She ran in & then followed me (and sat by my side) into the restroom. When she saw that I was headed back to my room, she ran ahead of me, waited for me to get settled (as she freaked out every time lightening flashed), & then jumped onto my bed to lay up under me. She's rarely allowed on my bed, but this time I kinda had to let it ride. Now I'm wide awake blogging & she's fast asleep. Ah, such is life.

We Must Stop Meeting This Way

I'm wide awake again at o'dark thirty. I want to go to sleep & I want my eye to stop watering & I want to stop yawning & I want to rest all through a night. I'm feeling more stressed than I was a month ago. This cabin fever & inability to move around is killing me. I'm not feeling this right now. I need to pray for a while.

Tonight

This is where I am tonight.

Post Envy

I'm so excited about the next few posts that I plan on writing for my other blog, Cake Like Me, that I can't go to sleep. The ideas keep coming and I feel compelled to jot them all down. It's times like this that I'm extra thankful for apps like Evernote. I'm going to look at Pinterest for a few more minutes and then I'll go to bed. I promise.

His Birthday

Today is my ex's birthday and I'm feeling some kind of way.  Last year I went all out and then found out a few days later that he was cheating on me with almost every female in Macon, GA.  We've since moved on and we're still in each other's lives (albeit not in a romantic relationship).  However, I still love him...wait, did I just write that?  Crap!  Oh well, it's out and it's the truth.  I could erase it, but it'll still be the truth.

I'm not sitting around pining for him.  Please believe that.  But, well, I don't know how I feel.  I spoke with him before one of his mid-terms today and he wasn't even that thrilled about his birthday.  I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that he's not where he wants to be in life.  That's another blog for another day.  I'm just trying to figure out why his day even matters to me - still.  Any insight would be greatly appreciated.

It's Been A Mighty Long Time

I know I've been away a long time. I apologize for that. I just waned to say that I've started a new blog: Cake Like Me. I even downloaded the Blogger app. So now I have no immediate excuse as to why I can't visit more often. I'm heading to sleep now, but you were on my mind. Have a great night. Write you soon!

Something

I can't turn it off.  I can't stop thinking about yesterday and how it all went downhill so quickly.  I can't shut my thoughts down long enough to grab a few winks of sleep.  I'm tired.  God knows I am.  I know that I need to sleep because I've got a lot of things to do and very little time to do them.  When I moved from Colorado I promised myself that I wouldn't end up in this situation ever again.  That's what I get for making promises.  I want to be all spiritual and say that I'm just going to let go and let God, but I'm worried that even God isn't listening to me anymore.  That freaks me out more than I could ever express.

Teary-Eyed & Revealing

I can't explain what's been happening to me lately, but suffice it to say, I've been shedding a lot of tears.  Now, anyone who knows me knows that I can cry at the drop of a dime.  Whether I'm happy, sad, angry, scared, excited, stressed, whatever.  I'm crying right now as I write this.  But, what's got me bothered is not that I've been crying a lot.  What's bothering me is why I'm crying.  It's all about revelations.  Not the book of the Bible (which is actually Revelation, minus the "s"), but something revealed.  The dictionary list it as "something revealed, especially a dramatic disclosure of something not previously known or realized".  How screwed up must I be not to have previously realized things that were staring me right in the face for the longest time?  It is hurting my heart to know that I've played such a significant role in this madness and if it weren't for some other madness (that had nothing to do with me) I would still be in the dark. 

I know this probably doesn't make sense to anyone reading this, but I can't go any further into detail.  The wound is too fresh.  Maybe when I'm looking back on the scar, I'll be able to speak about this without getting teary-eyed.  Maybe not.

The conundrum I'm faced with is this: Would I rather not have ever received my revelation and kept living in blissful and ignorant madness, or should I look at this revelation as a blessing, because I'm no longer ignorant anymore, even though it's putting me through the ringer? 

Musical Mode: Classical All the Way

For most of you non-classical listeners, these couple of pieces should be fairly easy to recognize.

Felix Mendelssohn - Spring Song


Antonio Vivaldi - Four Seasons


Frédéric Chopin - Nocturne in E flat Minor Opus 9 Number 2


Claude Debussy - Claire de Lune


Johannes Brahms - Hungarian Dance No. 5


Johann Sebastian Bach - Toccata and Fugue in D Minor


Wolfgang Amadeaus Mozart - Piano Concerto No. 21 Andante


Ludwig van Beethoven - Fur Elise

Musical Mood: Hip-Hop Used to Love Me

I'm in one of my nostalgic moods again and this time it's all about hip-hop.  Not that whackness flowing so easily from your radio nowadays.  But that music that made you think, dance, and feel good about what the artist was doing all at the same time.  Let's get it!

GangStarr - Skillz


Camp Lo - Luchini (This is It)


Lord Tariq & Peter Gunz - Deja Vu (Uptown Baby)


Ill Al Skratch - I'll Take Her


Black Sheep - This or That


Boogie Down Productions - My Philosophy


Clipse - The Funeral


Blahzay Blahzay - Danger

HIP-HOP

1979-1999

Rest in Beats

Let's Have A Moment of Silence Please...

Did I Miss My Calling?

Lately it has seemed as though everyone and their mothers are calling on me for advice or just to lend an ear.  I don't have a problem with that at all.  It simply makes me think that I may have missed my calling.  Or at least one of them.  I love people and I hate to see people in pain.  I'm always looking for new ways to inspire others to reach their goals or solve their problems.  I think the biggest reason I couldn't be a psychiatrist is that I'm way too empathetic.  I would probably take on my clients' issues and start to feel overwhelmed.  I wouldn't know how to leave it all at the job.  But maybe, just maybe, I have another gift that I never fully explored.

Glow - Kirk Whalum

Many of you out there may not have an appreciation for jazz and I totally don't respect that.  LOL.  However, this is beautiful, contemporary jazz at it's finest. 

Mercy

I'm not a huge fan of Duffy's voice, but the good vibrations felt in this song are simply infectious.  I dare you not to at least bob your head on this one.

Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now!

For real this is one of my favorite songs.  It's actually the final song of one of my favorite 80's movies.  I would ask you if you knew which one it was, but the clips actually show throughout the video so we'll just move on pass that.

#43 Appreciation

I might be on a sports-minded focus of life right now and I'm not quite sure why.  But lately, all things football and baseball related have really been on the top of my fascination lists.  As of right now I'm all about 1 man in particular - Mr. Polamalu.  First of all he's a Christian who's not afraid to say that he's a Christian.  We all know how uncool it is for most famous people to profess their belief and love of God.  Secondly, he's one of the best defensive players out there and that's the truth.  Amen.  You know you're good when you become injured yet you are a strong enough player that you still get drafted because your previous performances and dedication are unmatchable.  Say that! 

Now, I'm not going to act like I'm all ESPN'd out and such (like some of you - I'll refrain from naming names), but I grew up watching tons and tons of football.  I had relatives who played in high school and college and if we didn't support them, then the world just wasn't going to rotate.  Don't believe me?  Ask me why I know all that I know about Miles Austin.  He's my cousin and I have had no choice but to scream like an idiot when he's on the field.  That's how they roll in the deep south. 

So, I've learned how to appreciate good, and yes, great athletes.  As I said with my baseball clip of Mr. Kownacki, I am all about giving props where they are due.  And this man definitely deserves them. 

Musical Mood - Country Throwbacks

Oh yes, I love country music.  I am a singer/songwriter so I appreciate good writing when I hear it.  Music is an expanse of one's soul.  At least it should be.  Enjoy!

Reba McEntire - Why Haven't I Heard From You

She really is my favorite country singer.  Wait until I do my all Reba blog.

Brooks & Dunn - Boot Scootin' Boogie

Did you hear the honky tonk piano and guitar?  Get down.  Turn around.  Go to town.  Boot scootin' boogie!

Garth Brooks - Thunder Rolls

Ominous and beautiful.

Deana Carter - Strawberry Wine

There's a live version of her singing this in 2007, but for those who may've never heard the original I decided to go this route.

Dolly Parton - 9 to 5

I went waaaaay back on this one.  Deal with it.

Trisha Yearwood - How Do I Live?

I love this version.  It makes me want to go watch ConAir right now.

That's all for today.

Death At A Funeral

I'm not going to go into a full review of this movie.  Movie reviews aren't really my strong point.  I tend to give too much away.  But, I will say this: It was actually pretty good.  Large ensemble casts of well-known and pretty-well-known (sp?  I just made that up) actors tend to lack something.  However, for a movie about a funeral the large cast really worked. 

My main reason for writing this is to laude praises onto one actor in particular - James Marsden.

The movie made me laugh, every now and then, with all of the various characters and antics.  But the movie was HILARIOUS because of James Marsden and his portrayal of his character.  The man, who has played Cyclops in the "X-Men" movies, romantic leading man in "27 Dresses", & Prince Edward in "Enchanted" is a comedic genius.  It makes no sense to be that funny and that on point every single time the camera is on you.  He was the only reason I'd watch the movie over and over again. 

You may not have planned on seeing this film, but if you get a chance, when it becomes available On Demand or in a Redbox somewhere, pay the $1 and get ready to laugh-out-loud. 

One more thing, be prepared to hear "Amazing Grace" sung in a way that you have never heard before.

So Damn Unpretty

Something that you said left me feeling so ugly.  So gross.  So repulsive.  So unattractive.  So hideous.  So grotesque.  So.  Damn.  Unpretty.