The Evolution of Evony & I

So it is 2:35 a.m. and I am wide awake playing the online game Evony.  I have become somewhat addicted to it and I'm not quite sure why.  I mean, it's fun and pretty even-keel, but it's not like any of my beloved Sims or race car games, so I don't know why it's captured most of my attention.  Maybe it's because the game is about conquering, ruling, and climbing the socialistic imperialistic ladder.  Or maybe it's simply that a friend of mine hipped me to it, I tried it out, and I'm one of those people who hates to leave something alone until she's mastered it.  Yeah, that's more than likely the reason.  If you're into a minimally-paced, rule the world kind of game, this is the one for you.  Oh, did I mention that it's FREE?  Well it is.  FREE, baby!

Try it out: Evony Free Forever!

Steve Said It: Our Love Isn't Like Your Love

I finished this chapter a few days ago, but I had to take a moment to digest it before blogging about it.  First off, let me give you a quick (or as quick as I can be) summary of the chapter.  Steve Harvey basically tells women that men are not going to gush for days on end about how much they love.  They're going to do their absolute best to show it in the most simplistic manner possible with the aid of profession, provision, and protection.  Either we women take the love the way it's being offered or run the risk of continuing to be alone.

How many times have I wondered why I was never called so-and-so's "girlfriend" or his "lady"?  It seems that although I claimed him and was spending all of my valuable time on him, he didn't see me as claimable.  This is probably one of the most obvious signs of relationship-mindedness and I have constantly over-looked it.  What was wrong with me?  This is something I even recall discussing amongst my girl friends.  Evidently, I knew what was what, I just chose to ignore it.  Maybe I was thinking that the guy was different, so he didn't revel in titles.  How romantic was that?  Regardless of what excuse I made up in my head or that he gave me to stop me from pushing the "why don't you call me your girlfriend" questions, the bottom line is that I knew the answer all along: To him, I was just a pleasant distraction and was never intended to be a permanent fixture in his life.

Provision and Protection basically work hand-in-hand for me.  I've had a few really great boyfriends.  They would go out of their way to make sure that I had not only what I needed, but just about everything that I wanted.  And I could go to them at any time that I felt threatened or stressed out.  It was almost as if they knew "fighting" for my honor was just as invaluable to my heart as making sure that I was taken care of.  Unfortunately, Steve was right about one thing, men have been told that "providing" for a woman is a sign of weakness and we women have been made to feel as though asking a man to provide makes us look like money-hungry, whores.  But that's wrong.  From the dawn of time, men were the hunters, the providers, the ones who shouldered the responsibility of making sure that the family ate, survived, and lived.  Women made the house a home.  They made sure that the family thrived, was comfortable, and enjoyed the life the man provided.

We women have allowed a screwed up social ideal to overtake what we know to be good, true, and ordained.  A man may decide that he doesn't have to profess his desire to be with me forever, and that he doesn't have to provide for me, and that he doesn't have to protect me.  That's fine.  But I've decided that I don't have to accept that kind of man.

Steve Said It: What Drives A Man

Who he is. What he does. How much he makes. Those are the three forces that drive men, according to Steve Harvey. In his opinion, it's not until a man figures out those answers that he will make a committed step towards being in a relationship with a woman.

I wanted to yell and scream that I am the kind of woman who doesn't believe that a man should have to do this by himself. I wanted to make the case that I wouldn't be the kind of woman who would simply look at what a man does and how much he makes and use that as the deciding factor as to whether I could be with him or not. I'm loyal, trust-worthy, supportive, strong, and all of those other adjectives that ought to make a grown man jump for joy when he spots them. However, Steve cut that down pretty effortlessly on page 17, paragraph 1, sentence 4. Evidentally men won't be able to recognize any of my amazing "ride or die" characteristics unless they've figured out who they are, what they do, and how much they'll make.

I wish I would've known this years ago. I promise you it would've saved me so much heartache. Because I always see past the exterior, I have a tendency to fancy a man's potential. If I believe that he has the potential to be a great man who just hasn't come into his own, I'd try and work with him. However, I always ended up feeling under-appreciated and thoroughly dejected. This was never a quick, painless process. It always pulled at my heart strings and I couldn't understand what I'd done wrong. Why did it feel like these same men who were intelligent, funny, witty, charming, handsome, and caring didn't know how to trust that I was there to have their backs? Now things are becoming a bit clearer. Many of them didn't or don't know who they are, what they do, or how much they'll make. They were lost in some way, and because men don't normally like to ask for directions, they were unable to get to the main street. And since they were lost without a clue as to where they were going, they couldn't afford to emotionally take on another traveller. They didn't want to be responsible if both of us ended up stranded in the wilderness.

Whoda thunk it?

A New Reading Adventure

Tonight I will start reading Steve Harvey's "Act Like a Lady, Think Like A Man". The plan is to blog after each chapter I read. If I do this, according to plan, it ought to be a lot of fun. Just thought I'd put that out there.

I Can't Explain It All

I just read the last blog that I posted and I'm amazed that the "ask and it shall be given unto you" factor seems to be in play for me. I ran into a former male acquaintance of mine a few weeks ago (online) and we exchanged numbers. We spoke on the phone for one night and he asked me out on a date the very next day. We've had three dates since then and one of them resulted in his coming over to the house, cooking dinner (while I told him what ingredients to add) and simply watching random television with me. Tomorrow we're supposed to go out and see the movie "Avatar" and grab a bite to eat. I'm flabbergasted. But in a good way.

He's not the type of guy that I would normally go for and that was the case years ago, but he's a sweetheart and a gentleman. That accounts for so much in my book. Unfortunately, because I had the nerve to be shallow back in the day, I couldn't see him for what kind of man he really was. I'm happy to see the changes in myself that allow me to look past what I couldn't look past before. He's a cutie pie with the chubbiest cheeks ever! We've joked around that if we have children, they're going to have some huge cheeks. How cool is that - we joked about having children?

I'm hoping to take this slowly, but to do what I can to show him that I appreciate him. Good men are out there, but we women act like we've got so many options that we snub them. That's not my desire at all. He may or may not be "the one", but I plan to treat him like he could be. Because he deserves that.